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11/29/2008 6:45 pm - Interesting... this number I don't understnad.. but one way or another it all adds up to the same things... as the first song that came up for me on the music was The Doors - Light  My Fire. :}

Dear M -

At this point, I'm just going to declare that, without any tangible evidence, that we've been carrying an Aesopian discussion that was highhly misundersood on both ends in many ways jsut as timelines change.

Im also going to say I'm going to be direct as possible, I'm going to be very honest about some things that were generated in this particular "Dialectical Psyop".. and in this case, I'll use that term loosely and wait until I get to Disneyland to know the truth and accept whatever it is, even if only because I have a great number of options available to me by heading South... all that I know will work one way or another. It just keeps happening.

I'm also going to declare the acknowledgement of the ability to use hypnosis and psychotronics, and directed energy weapons in the world at large, and that they are being used against American Citizens on American Soil by the Representatives of the Government in many capacities of public trust, a trust that has been violated.  And, that one of the major abilities of the New Class of Weapons is to khgajks;jkzgjhgdhgdgjh

I am also going to be frank about the effects its had on me, as well as my presumption of its effects on you and likely people you know and love, as well as some kind of evidence of the deliberate and intentional defiance and disruption of the design of God that included our meeting. It's one of those things I just know, much like Mariah Carey always knew she would be a musician, a superstar. So I'll share some things that in my heart and osul, hod as things I know to be true somee, unknown reason I believe in acts of love and faith in God.

And, in the face of  believing, whether it's true or because of psyops, that I have no secrets, adn in a way, and am glad to have the privilege to serve God by providing an example of the kinds of evil and the extent to which the Biblical "evil-doers" have gone to overthrow the Kingdom of God, the ends justifies the means mentality that has plagued humanity since the beginning of time, that will now end, as He promised...  just as I feel blessed in this mont to know that He is speaking through me at this moment.

And this is going to be a very personal letter - since I have no secrets, really - because I really want it to be clear what my intentions, my commitments and expectations are of you and me, for that matter... and I'm not going toh hold back, because whatever anyone thinks of this, what matters most in what hapens nex tin my mind and instruction is that we have some kind of destiny tobe partners in His work at this time.

One of those things I just know.

And even if it somehow started off badly, God has a way of making it turn out well, as He promised in the Bible. So I want to talk about that, and what the psychotronics hypnosis generated, nd the truth that allowed that and the truth of what allowed the psychotonic effect of amplifying my thoughts and emotions beyond what they actually are, that of a 53 year old man with an optimistic yet mature outlook of a personal future - knowing that any soldier coming home has to deal with issues of isolation, alienatin, witnessing atrocity, feeling abandoned and harmed even if not physically harmed

It's unavoidable, and like any soldier, like those in Iraq and Afghanistan, and soldiers and victims all over the world, I'm vulnerable, like anyu human I  need and desire love, and I know I've been affected in unimageinable ways that have caused me to represent myself in ways as a man prepared for a war of hearts and minds on behalf of God for whatever reason, and I expected there to be a toll. And there was and is one.

And I'm so aware that so many other people are suffering in so many similar ways.And one wa involving psyops in one way wor another that caused me to feel a very deep and profound sense of love for you that I won't deny or claim, because I know what amplieifed what I actually feel. Just as aI knowa good dialectic would  be to have the ability to provide plausible deniability to prove I'm an obsesed guy convicting himself of harassing a tv minister because she was talking to him through the tv. Sorta works for me, I'm used to it, ad I don't have any more room on the tivo to waste time gathering evidence that distracts me from exposing the "individuals' who need to be exposed. :}

It's important to me to be sure you understand clearly what I know by faith in God, what I know was generated, and that I accept whatever occurs as  the result of my own actions. Furhter, that what's below is actually a useful "diatribe" that I wrote while knowingly being affected by psychotronics, adn I allowed it, fully knowing that per the typcial dialectic paradigm, I would be reversing a great number of things instead, also knowing that it serves as the kind of thinking, over and over util I reach what I consider to be a sound and rational decision based on fact and logic and faith in God.

I had a wonderful day today. Very intense, The psyops guys very consturctively and usefully putting me through a cool inquiry about all sorts of things encompassing the universe, and I feel so blessed. About me, about you, as individuals mostly, as servants too. The perfect.Match in His work. It's one of those things I jjust know is true. I claim it. Just as I know that even if we never met face to face in this world at this time, you are at my right hand in His work at this time as was intended by Him.

I actually know you know what I'm talking about. Just as me and Beaver and Forrest and the Sarge played by Gary Sinise in Forrest Gump sor tof talked for about 12 hours today.. and we decided that I was sititng hear screaming for someone to rescue me, the reverse damsel in distress story, except going on in both ends, which I actually just realized, and I kept calling for minsters to have the courage to step forward but I was so used to being taunted by the media and otehr people and the government officials themselves, that I they successfully prevented me from realizing that...

I want ot honor you for this... that you answered the call and I couldn't accept it out of fear for myself in order to be certain be  available and free to serve Him when it was time do His most important work, no matte what. And previous and ongoing psyops prevented us both - from personal concern and responsibility and commitment to His plan allowed us both to be used agianst each other in emotional psyop operations, as well as all sorts of coercion, including disruption of telephone and communications of all kinds, likey economic coercion and defamation by whatever means...

That you truly are courageous no matter how anything began, out of your commitment to God, I actually know that, like so many other people the Bible predicted as personal delusion,s meaning that we would all be fooled in one way or another, not being liars or apostates or criminals or bad  people, believe we were doing something ok wven though there might have been somehting nagging us, telling us it didn't quite sit well.

Just as I know that if there is anyon ein this world that can provide witness, by no accident and by the design and plaan and will of God, to who I am in this world.

I call you Miss America because I actually believ eyour incredible description o fthe experiences you had and the commitment youa ccepted to the vision of His work... fully knowing that some of the biter pills I had to delvier would be devastating to people, hard to accept, but that you must have at some point actually checked things out, and unfortunately came to the same undeniability conclusions I cam to on certain things, at least to cause reasonable suspicon.

So I call you Miss Americ abecause your say you were commisioned to "Save AMerica" I bleive you siad, and I believed you. And I want you to know that I commissiion you to tha if you want it. And I say that because I can, and because I want to empower in wht you believ eis the fulfillment of your purpose in His Kingdom, which you did and are doing by reestablishing the foundations of the word and messages of God throughout His Kingdom whcih is in grew at part going to be a credit to your incredibly brilliant and loving service to Him.

And I so respect you for that. And I so respect so much of wht you've generated which is very much proof to me that  you ar indeed a prophet, even if only to me, though I though tha's not true because f the very minimal research  I did on your backgroind long after I decided you were the perosn I was looking for a sa person to my partener and right hand in His work, empowering each otehr with our seaparte and anointed gifts as my right hand in the full establisment and adminsistration of His Kingdom. I just knew it. And instead I once again ramblr on in the night feeling the necessity to bear my sould to you in public because it's just that important, and somehow because God told me to so I do.

What I believe is our share love for God, His vision and undertsanding of His vision and ability to actually cause it is the reason for my joy in - what I jokingly call my discovery of you and your work - never hearing of you and maybe hearing of your late husband once while flipping channels...  and all of that is what you might call my true professional interest in you as I became so exhuberent when I first listened to you program on Ion TV... maybe even being broadcast as a piggyback, becasue maybe for the first time in my life I encountered someone who seemed to me to be the possibility of someone who actually understood His vision and experienced it in a natural expresison of being in life that finally manifested itself per God's plan and timing, profoundly per God's plan, as a leader and to me precisely provided at the very moment my inquiry and   process of becoming actually required it, to affirm to me though an aobjective source, that what I was wirting and witnessing and blieving was not the words of an apostae, who I refuse to be, though I may interpret things that I love to correct, that your knowledge and being and spirit so complements mine in relation to  what I know my future wrk to be in service to God and His wonderful plan and promise.

I just knew it.

An dwhat was used against us both in one way or another was my profound respect and and admiration for women in so many ways for so many reson that I so casually describe a love... in most ways, thes same as I say about men...  just because i do, for now. And I knew the dialectic all too well adn I went with it, the "love engrams" I've described before, because I also saw the psossibilit yof more than the special professional interest I have in you, becasue to giht it would cause me to be unable to concentrate on the messages of the words you spoke,  and it was very nurturing an   felt great and I knew it wasn' treal even though the basic feelings of affection, and soemthing a little more special in my respect for you and shred vision,

 

 

 

 

 


11/28/2008 -11:32 pm

Dear M-

A hard day. I sure wish I knew when these sessions of yours were recorded... what I get here, unless you're wearing wigs, are not contiguous, and the more it goes on, are less specific to what I am currently writing, but most assuredly reflect some things that step away from the norms of thinking of spiritual walks of faith... that I've been writing about since 2002... and while your delivery of things is more collegial, although being "the angel" in Revelations as I say you are, having been called to the supper... the meal, breaking of bread, The Word, of supplication to those called and chosen to lead, regardless of wha moved you to your spoken commitment, in white garments, as in cleansed and pure of heart and soul, guileless in the grace of God.... I would, of course, prefer blue, though Isee the difference in your apparel as one of those ambiguous clues that may mean that the other color was at the laundry...

I get a lot out of what you teach. I would like I provide something to others, but I don't  know, though I haven't heard anyone speaking in the things and ways that I do... whichi isn't saying much unfortunately because my exposure is so limited..

I suppose you could say that my writing in sequestration does provide proof of the validity of what I write and try to teach, if it is valid, and I know it is, whether accepted or not..  I hear you speak of people getting value should give to that... I've given everything I haeve to give as I go, willing to give even more that would be of monetary value but I'm not into carrots and sticks... coercion, bribery and the like... I really believe in choice. That is one of the things from the forum that I agreed with, even though they did not honor it and I was castigated and rejected for honoring it because it did not provide them the monetary rewards they were actually seeking f from those foolish enough to submit to their domination out of a need for approval, which they never did receive from me... in the forum I went to in Monterey with the 1968 Israeli War soldiers - the Armageddon as I see it,   I don't how to put it, but the leader, who I believe he and his father were some of the best ones from the original inquiry for WEA... who left after WEA.. the Eisens... he kept haing to sit me down adn tel me to be quiet because I kept saying things,a and then people would share, and then I would share and elevate the discussion 2 to 4 steps beyond his presentation... I liked him :} and got a lot out of that.

I know little of Calvinism, but I still say that the rapture was a vision that was misinterpreted...  interpretations of visions are often a problem because people try to interpret them as they receive them and thus taint the full message because they alter the content with the context of their experiences instead of receiving them and   actually applying them to their world, like the American or Geneva Bibles... the latter expaling a great deal to me in the example of Catherine of Sienna... and I have to say, whether by request or otherwise, it appears to me I've been prompted, as the news media has been used, to extract info from me to suit other people's purposes, and I am not at all comfortable with that, and I'mjust not going to be used anymore because then it really is still humanistics, and I know you're smart enough to understand what I said... taking from, and not honoring and glorifying Him and Jesus or me. And it's not, for me about honor and glory for me, but of service, but I am tired of being pushed around, and manipulated... so often finding out that people have  been attracted to me as supposed friends because theywanted somehting from me, giving little in return, and then diminishing me for not wanting to give to those who so willingly take but provide no support for me... not so much financially, but spiritually  and  emotionally like a friend would.. and I don't believe my expectations of people are too high in that respect...

But I deserve my due and I deserve to survive in a reasonable healthy manner, and in this world in this nation at this time, that means submitting to economic extortion for the sole purpose of silencing me, or suffer poverty and what appears to be acceptable harm from those who I would think would be the ones to sustain me as I give all   I have to give for their enrichment and enlightenment of the Word... I don't like art to be about money and all, and I know it's a reality... but it's clear to me that, despite my own choice long ago to divest  of assets and live a minimalistic life - not even close to poverty - for the simplicity of it as well as to present myself in a clean, wholesome way, as well as to dissuade all the people who seemed to view me as a source of wealth financially as well as spiritually, and yet the still came to me as if they anticipated that I would have something monetarily down the road that they wanted a piece of. I'm not cynical and jaded, it's just true. And I'm not wrong that every effort and movement that I've made toward what most would consider success has been purposefully thwarted by those .. the people I talk about who are those who call themselves Jews but are not that you told people to run away from me about... as if in a exclamation of fear... knowing  alittle more but not much about some of your affiliations, the way your sermons have been presented to me in a way that disorients me like all the other psyops I've dealt  with... whether you have anything to do with that or not... the Kyra similarities and everything... and yet, it seem s that I am expected to just give up even the comforts of  a warm bed to serve others who offer nothing more... like I said, I'd have come down for  acouple days, but there isn't 3 weeks to waste if I am to attempt to disrupt what's going on, and the time already spent seeking partnership.. by the time anything happens it will be too late, and so many people will suffer, and then the next position I have to falll back to both by knowledge and experience and prophecy means all I can really do is fall back until extreme damage is done and then mop it ups afterward somehow like some kind of here I have no desire to be. Never did.

And I'm not interested in being involved in  being a rags to riches story, because I would not be in rags at all if I had been so harmed... and all the time I spend wiritng these thing sis pure distraction from the political things that I have to believe you and most people won't believe until that same extreme damage has devastated America. Let alone the world in the Devilish plan going on.

I can write and respond with all kinds of thing.s. I believe could coach you in so many ways.. even musically... that would take you beyond your beliefs of your own potential, as I believe you could ad to me in the same ways.

But I really  have been left destitute,and I am not a begggar, not out of pride, but integrity to the knowledge of my own skills and abilities that I know could make the difference.  THE difference. Right now. I don't knwo what more to say about that except that apparently every other opinion is that I AM NOT worthy.. and I reject it, feel betrayed and will not allow te Word and the Truth of our times to be stolen by the anti-Christ. I believe even yuou may be being used for that purpose, and I also have become aware that you have been greatly affected by psychotronics and now know it.

I am much like Marin Luther, although the foul mouth part is psychotronics and I do not take responsibility for it.. it's Norseen's word insertion and it works and to stop it while delving in thought requires losing the message of the thought to pay cloeser attention to the development of words in context... like a competitive improvisational oratory... that can't possibly be cohesive... and in the world I am in now, in my "lonely room day after day..." with no peace or certainty of any sort, feeling no responsibility for the circumstances I am surrounded by since I was not listened to in the creation of the mess going on... but as usual, expected to bear the brunt of the hostility caused by it, without the opportunity to express myself  as a human to anyone.. I do not need nor will I accept any additional hardship to serve those who will simply take from me, without regard to my welfare and well-being,  nor return or reciprocate to me...

Your books, to me, are like the emulations used in the Carey movies to psyop me.. where I originally saw them years after their releases, after I had begun to write, I said i knowp people have dreams and visions which provide them the source for what they create form it... and there it is again in your books... haven't read any of them, but they sure do describe some things of the future accurately...  whether by natural causes or mutation by chemical and DNA changes... purposefully or as part of a course of fecal waste that  includes steroids and drugs and such... it's uncanny.

In the context of this time, in the context of my life and circumstances, that I may be harmed with impunity, treating me as the happy fool who can be so easily used.. in this time, at my age, it is foolish to expect me to act like a teenager and act rashly ion a  dare like the Kid Charlemagne story... I was actually going to do it 4 years ago because it would have worked out, but once again, my keepers  made sure that my finances were destroyed...

So people think I'm joking around about leaving at all.. just the fool doing it again.. while I watch others taking my siggestions, but still approving of the harm... getting recognition for and image enhancement by implementing their version of my work which is rarely accurate or actually on point, or  effective, not talking aout what you provide.. or dealing with the root issues... which are not the headlines at all... and I  measure what I say by your standards of ministry of the Word regarding the example of Christ and such...

Anyway.. I think I proved today that I am taking on the world in appropriate ways, and it's sort of working but it won't be in time... but I'm simply no longer willing tosuffer this wa for the sake of others' edification, because that is a perversion of the word and a mockery odf GOd.

God is a jealous God not in terms of desire, but in the knowledge of the difference He can personally make and knowin  ghe is not welcomed.

So I guess I've been manipulated once again into doing things I do not wish to do and actually reject... but of course, since I'll be passing through, I'll stop by just to see the joke fully played out on me once agian, and if someone dares suggest that I passed the faith test, given who I am and the faith that has always sustained me spiritually and is the reason for my sanity,  I will be so resentful that I will simply get in my car and keep going, turning my back on everything I always believedin in America,knowing that those things do not exist and that are no longer actually desired or lived in the bieings of those who should know better.

If those who read my words and think they know what i am like, they are wrong. If they believe they know what I am communicating without the benefit, to me and them, of interation with them they're wrong, but I refuse to be the brunt of jokes and usery of my gifts as if I amn not ssomeone with feeling sand needs and desired that should be granted the dignoty required of all etoward one another even in thsi society, then I must conclude objectively that there is no one who actually hears in this nation.

You could say I am feeling sorry for myself, I am not. It is an objective conclusion, using the judgment I am required to apply, adn do so ot with pleasure, but with acceptance of my responsibility. And I am not an icon to those who are chosen to atttend the supper and consumate the marriage... and I like blue.

When I first began my activism,. I receive a letter from someone that I believed was irrelevant to the work I was doing and to my situation, as I was not aware of my full being and was taken in by the "vision" of the world foisted upon us all by deceivers... I recieved a letter about that contained a flow chart of the way purportely used by Scientolgy to do what I'll call formulaic and systematic psyops that most assuredly is the same model as CIA and FBI CoIntelPro-like training manuals provide... and it's interestng that in an interaction with a Scientologist once.. and I won't say they properly represent Scientology.. but they mocked me..

They actually aggressively persued a conversation with me to tell me that what made them better than WEA people was the idea of always being complete vs constantly seeking completion.. and the interesting part is that I agreed with what they told me, but they did it in such a mocking manner that I didn't want to even learn about Scientology... and I refused to get into the discussion of WEA about what enemies the two organizations had with each other because my participation had nothing to do with judgnmentalism or their legal or personal issues.. and yet, it seemed as if I was given no choice. Much like being steroetyped by religion or affiliations... and treated as if I was of a particular mindset when I alwyas had independent thought, just like disagreeing with my father about the essence of the being of the people of Russia, who I know, like Muslims and others, have the same fundamental needs and desires as all people and beings and creatures, and life of all kinds. Thus it was about fulfilling the needs of those people and the community with them, as a "generic" whole.. that was when I was 7 or 8...

And everything, including the plauibly deniable introduction I had to your work, fits the psyop model consistently used to harm me... and set up to purposefully lure me with women to a place thousands of miles away from my "stronghold" to cause me to believe in people and their righteous intent which is the sourc of my being labeled a fool. Now that I know Ameirca considers it to be their right to ause me in every way they can imagine, I don' tunderstand how anyone could possibly expect me to empower anyone in those circumstances.

I have to assume you know what I am saying. And I am of the belief at the moment that I will be further psyopped to diminish and oppress me into taking what is given to me in a time of desperation, and I simply will not do it. If this nation is desirous of my work and the mesages delivered through me by the true God of all, not by my "Godliness" or Godhead assignation as His Son in this world,  then I deserve to be granted the minimalism I request, or must again conclude that I hae simply been "compassed about", not "compassed, once again to enrich humanistic goals.. and I simply refuse to do that, nor waste my time speaking to those who choose to hear only what they choose to believ e that flatters. I am not an apostate or a martyr, and if people want a martyr.. been there, done that, won't do it anymore.

That is judgmnet, not coercion. And it is neither subject to the approval of others nor ignored by God the Father. Ity is required of me, no matter how unpleasant it may seem, and is relied upon because of the nature of the essence of the love I bring and the compassion and opportunity I provide to anyone who requests it or will receivei it... whcich is the thing that is most taken advantage  of, and the source of the only true pain I've had in this world. And it seems I am punished for possessing and offering and giving such love.

I hate to use the word deserve in this context, but I don't understand how people can believe they deserve what I am so willing to provide, per their request, not my requirement of them, simply as an equal citizen... let alone one who is expected to deliver the Word and Truth of God as more than they know or as if I may have something more to provide, while the golden rule and the commandments and even humanistics would inform them sufficiently that anyone who would treat or expect of anyone else in this way   is simply wrong, let alone sin or crime against humanity in the laws of man.

The only thing it leaves me with is that I should leave. Admittedly, my exposure to faiths, on tv or in hometowns is limited, but I am not responsible for that either. And I really would rather live somewhere alone, than continue to be expected to be a good sport and prove to the world, like an example, that such treatment should be tolerated let alone that the human spirit and being is supposed to rise above, as if I am made of steel, instead of being made in His image like everyone else with the same needs and desires and rights to liberty and love, that have been denied me my whole life.

And the fact that in your case, things have been done to me that at least appear to be a part of your doing for whatever purposes to cause me to feel and break me down, which I will not allow, instead of being capable of persevering in the face of Satan himslef... void of any love or compassion from anyone to sustain me.. I can do it, I know I can, but there is no satisfaction for me, seeing others impplemnt  the work provided through me in the face of the mockery and pain I am expected to endure, that no one was intended to do by God's will.

And what hurts most nside is knowing there are so many who are suffering more than me,and I am capable of bringing that to an end, yet all I see is people taking and hoarding and harming one another to "get wht they can" without regard to the harm they cause other beings. And I don't want to see it anymore, knowing my time to serve and cause the Kingdom that I could deliver, knowing that in my heart, is being denied, even by those who call themselves the faithful. And that is not directed at you.

And when I spoke of whoredom, I was speaking of the church.. not even the Catholic church,but the church of America, each nation,and the church of the world and the universe...

I didn't know anything about you. I took you at your word and in yours speaking of your commitment to Him and Jesus, because nothinge else really matters to me... because it is actually all that's ever mattered to me, even when I didn't know that's what I was doing as an equal citizen. The psyop sguys got me to look stuff up. After all of that... and that too seeems like a psyop to make it seem as though I am totally insensitive.

And then tonight, right after your message... I get ads about drug adition and pornography addiction... and I am so offended for myself and others, that I really am beside myself to want to give to anyone of such ignorance and judgmentalism relating to my life and being.. a typical outcome of the the desired results of the psyops against me to stop me from the completion of my work...  And you should see some of the other sexually oriented stuff they've put on after you that I'm only hoping were piggybacks to anger and dusgust me. And diminsih you.

And of course, L is playing the crazy card again to force me out.. I can't say I blame her... for a number of reasons I won't go into except to say that our funadmental beliefs in God and Jesus are not at all compatible after all in any way, and the only way it is presented to me that their interest is real is to appease me, as it has been for nearly 12 years.. I find out now... with contradictory explanations and tricks to agitate me an cause me to flee. The perfect combo once again for the dialectic to make me hmeless, particularly at this critical time in history, that I was supposed to disrupt, and could, with a mustard seed of assistance. All the tools I was supoosed to be provided have been sold and turned against me. Which again leaves me to wait for the desolation to occur,  leaving me to provide for the world as if some hero I have no desire to be.

Equality, liberty, justice, love.  It seems people only want it anymore to prove they can steal it and get way with it to the detriment of others as if scoring each hurt against another as a notch on a gun in a contest to do the most harm. And I reject it. And I refuse to continue to provide notches.

So I have chosen you and appealed to the commitment and promise you say you made, and I believe you made because of your speaking, without any knowledg of you except through that speaking, liek the Angel Jesus sent to deliver the message and prepare the way... and because of that, for whatever the truth of the reasons may be.... the precious time to take action, with the ability to make a difference, is nearly gone. The psyop hads worked. And it appears tha deception upon deception upon deception has happened again with the speaking of God's word and the lure of affection through psychotronics, just like before,  to a man deprived of even conversation for years, knowing that all I wanted was to share and challenge and enjoy the work of establishing the Kingdom of God with others who have faith in His promise, and the love of doing His work and the pelasure He gifts the faithful with in the course of that work. Love. one human to another, not romantic, but of grace and a shared understanding, knowledge and in and  of Jesus' spirit... and even that I am denied.

Still, I am required to have faith in people who do not truly have faith in God, or I would not be writing this to you now.

If there is one thing I know about business and the work of God, it is, as a matter of fact, somehing I learned at WEA, an that is when integrity is does not exist in the operations and communications of those chosxen to deliver and particpate in the work of God, the business will fail - for those who claim integrity and do not actually deliver it. As well as knowing that those who are chosen who do not operate insideof that integrity will be diminished unto themselves for the knowlede of their own failures in being, causing self-defeat.

I will win in the wrok of God one way or another and His behalf and to honor the example of Jesus, Isimpy pray to minimize he damage that I fear will be done, beor I am freed bythe dstruction of my containment, instead of the integrity of liberty for all and the fiathfulnees of operatingin in His work and intent and Golden Rule.

It's harder for me to walk away from people I care about, even as friends, than anyone could imagine, because I've been forced to walk away so may times in my life under circumstances I never understood until recently.

And I really don't know what else to say, except ot say I think you're brilliant, we could have been good friends and great partners in His  work. I'll remember you that way. I like to remember people for the best that they are.

Like  everyone else who must make choices, so must I, my hands are always outstretched, but supper has been served, and there is no one to share it with. And so I am sad, but understand, though I still am shocked, and in denial of this observation, to preserve the love in my heart for all, for Him and for the ways of Jesus in which I have tried to live my life, regardless of the judgments of me by people who aggressively pursued my downfall or who have been misled, who I still love, but must proclaim that I do not know.. in His name and spirit, per His instruction.. as I would desire as the sustenance of my being in community.

And yet I will continue my work elsewhere, where people desire to hear, and commune and live in His Kingdom as it is being creaed and re-created as He intended. He is my only master, who I serve willingly with all my heart and soul, and I will not betray HIm, because I love Him, and I love what He wants to provide us all, and know that I will on His behalf, somehow, some way... and I was not intended to do it alone, thought that is the path it seems I am force to accept.

One day we'll meet and know each other in His love. I lookfforward to that, though I would have wanted you to be my right hand as I am His right hand.

God bless you. I mean that.

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