This will be deemed incredibly politically incorrect, but I'm going to publish it
anyway just because it's kind of funny and ironic. But I also have a point ot make.
I think it's a really good examples of the facades we live with and don't talk
about. I sometimes call it the veil of the facade of righteousness. Some may call it
double-standards, hypocrisy or just downright deception. More than anything, it's just
people making fun of things they feel powerless to do anything about.
I have no idea where this came from, other than it was passed along via the internet.
I'd be glad to credit the authors if they wish to be named.
Remaining U.S. CEOs Make A Run for the Border
Band of Roving Chief Executives Spotted Miles from Mexican Border
from the San Diego DAILY UNION DISPATCH &
TELEGRAM
(I think this is a fictitious name)
San Antonio, Texas
(Rooters) -- Unwilling to wait for their eventual indictments, the 10,000 remaining CEOs
of public U.S. companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Mexican border,
plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing the entire rampage off as a
marketing expense.
"They came into my home, made me pay for my own TV, then double-booked the
revenues," said Rachel Sanchez of Las Cruces, just north of El Paso. "Right in
front of my daughters."
Calling themselves the CEOnistas, the chief executives were first spotted last
night along the Rio Grande River near Quemado, where they bought each of the town's 320
residents by borrowing against pension fund gains. By late this morning, the
CEOnistas had arbitrarily inflated Quemado's population to 960, and declared a 200 percent
profit for the fiscal second quarter.
This morning, the outlaws bought the city of Waco, transferred its
underperforming areas to a private partnership, and sent a bill to California for $4.5
billion.
Law enforcement officials and disgruntled shareholders riding posse were noticeably
frustrated. "First of all, they're very hard to find because they always stand behind
their numbers, and the numbers keep shifting," said posse spokesman Dean Levitt.
"And every time we yell 'Stop in the name of the shareholders!', they refer us
to investor relations. I've been on the phone all damn morning."
"YOU'LL NEVER AUDIT ME ALIVE!" The pursuers said they have had some success,
however, by preying on a common executive weakness.
"Last night we caught about 24 of them by disguising one of our female officers as
a CNBC anchor," said U.S. Border Patrol spokesperson Janet Lewis. "It was like
moths to a flame."
Also, teams of agents have been using high-powered listening devices to scan the plains
for telltale sounds of the CEOnistas. "Most of the time we just hear leaves rustling
or cattle flicking their tails," said Lewis, "but occasionally we'll pick up
someone saying, 'I was totally out of the loop on that.'"
Among former and current CEOs apprehended with this method were Computer Associates'
Sanjay Kumar, Adelphia's John Rigas, Enron's Ken Lay, Joseph Nacchio of Qwest, Joseph
Berardino of Arthur Andersen, and every Global Crossing CEO since 1997. ImClone Systems'
Sam Waksal and Dennis Kozlowski of Tyco were not allowed to join the CEOnistas as they
have already been indicted.
So far, about 50 chief executives have been captured, including Martha Stewart, who was
detained south of El Paso where she had cut through a barbed-wire fence at the Zaragosa
border crossing off Highway 375. "She would have gotten away, but she was stopping
motorists to ask for marzipan and food coloring so she could make edible snowman place
settings, using the cut pieces of wire for the arms," said Border Patrol officer
Jennette Cushing. "We put her in cell No. 7, because the morning sun really adds
texture to the stucco walls."
While some stragglers are believed to have successfully crossed into Mexico, Cushing
said the bulk of the CEOnistas have holed themselves up at the Alamo.
"No, not the fort, the car rental place at the airport," she said.
"They're rotating all the tires on the minivans and accounting for each change as
a sales event."
No contact method available at this time due to spamming of this
site
(C) 2002,2003-2009 Charles Rehn Jr IV All rights
reserved
