| 4/8/2009 Andreas
Vollenweider - The Woman and the Stone
I'm writing this for a few reasons 1) because it's a very odd situation, and I need to
clear my mind, be complete if you will 2) I'm a communications kind of guy, and I like to
leave things with people in a stste where at least you/I can be at peace with what
happened. I don't know if this will provide that for you, but it will for me. And I don't
like someone misunderstanding what I really think and feel. It's like awriting a song,
especially one expressing feelings, getting it down to the essence and being very careful,
in some cases, not to say more than you can back up, that isn't real or is seductive
without real intent 3) because the psychotronics guys have been hammering me for months to
let you off the hook and at the same time in the dialectic, make it appear I'm obsessed
with you.
As for my obsession, first there's the psychotronics driving it. But I have no more
obsession for you than I do the media people and politicians who get me riled and I say
things about them, both because the psychotronics guys want me to appear extreme and
irrational in the way I respond to things, and because they want me to alienate certain
people who may be neutral or agree with me, and because they, of course, think they have a
case against me (that will absolutely backfire) about me being in some way inappropriate
with women.
I want to say, please believe, no matter what I say, nothing I'm writing here is intended
to cause you pain or to relay any sort of threat, legal or otherwise. This is a
communication between me and you. But, since I have no privacy, I figure why waste a
stamp. I just want to be honest about a few things with you. And if anyone ever asks about
this, I'll just say, interpret it as you will.
When you contacted me with the Aesopian, the only thing I could figure is that you were
fully apprised of the situation, including my dilemmas, nd because of things you said,
like give him a glass, that you understand and believed in who I am. I still didn't assume
that, and was quite interested in your objective thoughts and opinions, because despite
anything you might think, regardless of who and what you actually are, you have some
skills, and at a certain point, I saw a video of an incredibly powerful declaration about
your being a willing servant to God that was so much like my own that I actually cried,
because at that ppoint, there were so many confusing and conflicting and hurtful things
said in the Aesopian, and I wanted to believe you were for real, because if you were for
real, you would have been the perfect kind of person with the perfect kind of style to
deliver the message God requires in the world today. Because of your research background
and some things you said, I believed you had read nearly everything I had written, that's
posted anyway, and thatyou knew who I am. And sure, I can always find things that can be
better in everyoneand everything, and I certainly would never have tried to tell anyone
what they should or shouldn't do, unless they honored me with the privilege of leadership,
in whatever form they requested or empowered me. You sadi the stuff about bye bye is okay
with me. The psychotronic discussion going on was supposedly what I would want you to do.
And my response is, anything she wants, but my vision of it would be traveling around the
world talking to people, and I would have her presented as my co-equal and partner in His
work... and then you said that. The other conversation going on at the time was me really
wanting to flee the country.
I didn't know what context to place that in.
The only thoughts I ever really had about you, my reall thoughts, were that I wanted to
talk to you about God's work. Good or bad, it's about all my life's been about for uite
some time, and I'd lov eto take a break now and again to have some fun away from all the
problems, but I'm notallowed that privilege. I really just wanted to talk to some freindly
people who weren't going to play the game of hurting me on purpose, and to talk to people
of faith so I could feel a little sense of koinonia.. it's funny, if you think I wasn't
listening, I was, I just have different ways of looking at what you delivered.. on behalf
of God, I thought...
Last night I looked up a few things on the internet.. I go out of my way not to look stuff
up on people I'm trying to relate to at their word. I never thought, even under the worst
circumstances that a minister would participate in such things, to harm people. and I
think it's interesting that my real reaction to it is to be offended. Not even personally.
But I wrot etha tif I had done that kind of research long ago, I would have never watched
you again, and I certainly wouldn't have contacted you, because it would have been
obcvious to me that you really were a psyop and not a truly courageous Christian who found
some way to make contact with me.
But, just like in my personal relationships, where I listen to an d think about people's
pasts, to understand them, their motivations and insecuties so I can know how to empower
them and I know how to realte to them in ways that don't cause them pain by causing them
to relive their pains in life, I don't care what happened in the past, I certainly don't
take the gossip too seriously because I know how the media has taught people to go for the
worst in everyone instead of seeking the good in them and empowering that, and supporting
them in being the kind of people they want to be without putting them in the position of
acting out a part that they want too fill, that they actually can fill, but have to live
up to expectations thrust upon them with people who would cause you harm if you don't
"play the game" in one or another..
Kind of like how I was placed in my situation, I just sort of inherited something, and I
have all these people who want me to do things their way, who want me to be like what
their image of me would be, that I should act and talk in certain ways, and somehow, end
up forced into a paradigm of conduct and teaching that panders to people's comfort levels
but, if I followed their lead and the peer pressure and all, I'd be an apostate. I'm not
even saying that like problem or pointing fingers, I'm saying that because I would have
allowed myself to be put in that posiiton. So all the good possibilites of what I was
handed was causing me, is causing me, to live my life more like someone in prison than
someone people would look to to cause God's will to be done in this world. All because I
actually know what I'm capable of and what I'm bringing to the table, and it's not
arrogance... you wouldn't want to have a plumber who doesn't feel confident they can
repair a faucet. I am who I am, I don't play games, I've been who I am and will continue
to be that person.. and.. I was thinking about transformation.. and thought I can see how
I've certainly, from time to time, had to bring myself back to living my principles, but
for the most part, even in becoming, I actually know I've not gone through a
transformation in the last several years, but have, becaus eof the work I've been doing,
gotten really in touch with my thoughts and feelings and my view o fmy life, and it's part
of what lets me know I am who I am, that I was sealed to God's work and that I've actually
been consistent, without any religious context, to being a Christian. I'm just glad about
that, not proud.
Anyway.. so I didn't know anything about you except what you said on tv... I saw some bad
thing sabout your late husband, so I decided I didn't want to know that and I didn't want
to listen to his work out of respect and honoring him, to get your view of him and his
work first so I could listen with open ears and an appreciation for the depth and
character of a servant of God through of eyes of someone who actually knew him. Reading
what I read last night, I can see why they picked you for the psyop. And why God would
have picked you as the one capable of turning the tables on His behalf in the situation,
because you know, when He's looking for people to do the really important and hard stuff,
He looks for people who understand the phrase about those who seek to save themselves will
die.. because He needs people willing to put themselves on the line, sure, facing the
fears of what embarassmeent their might be, knowing that Satan is ruthless and that it
won't be pretty or easy because this IS the final judgment, and they know their spiritual
lives are on the line... so it's no wonder that each of us would have been
"distracted" in our ways.. 53 years.. I can actually see how my own integrity
was used to cause me to marry the wrong person, I really can, I"d never testify to it
because it can't be proven unless people told the truth... and I can't trust that, that's
for sure... but I'm certain of it. ANd God picks people He believes will put themselves on
the line, and then whatever it is that confronts them, He turns it around. I guess you
didn't have that kind of faith.
I wa sad for mnay reasons, it's why I wanted to give you every last chance I could to tell
me I was wrong about what happened, or to come clean so things could be made right,
anything so I could find a way to justify what's gone on and let you off the hook as much
as possible. Because like I keep saying, I never wanted to criminalize anyone. People just
keep doing things to me. I'msatisfied tha the justice I receive will be provided by God.
ANd the idea of it all going to court is so laughable, as if justic ein theis material
world is actually iportant at this time in the history of humanity. It's so laughable. But
even these people who keep doing things to me, I wish I had any reason to believe there
was anything god left in them because it's been going on for so long, and they seem to
have so much fun, like the trhill of getting away with something perverse, that I simply
can't continue to hope for an outcome that has shown itself time and time again... that
they actually think it's fun.. just like you did.
And here we are, 6 months later adn you still don't have the integrity to come clean, you
patrticipated in real crimes, harmful and potentially fatal crimes, against me, and it's
bad enough that you would do somehting like that to entrap a pervert or something, but you
know who I am, and you did it.. and you can claim you did it because you were trying to
get rid of a False Christ or something, but we both know it was about helping Barack
Obama. ANd given all the Bible passages you quoted tht I never looked up... that I read a
week or so ago and thought, these are the parts she was talking about... and then realized
that everything you were claiming to know about and as a minister, were supposedly
teaching about, were evil things you were actually doing. So you have no excuse. An
infidel to God. Think about the truth of that, in the literal sense.
I have greater expectations of ministers, just as a citizen of a world where ministers
should be trustworthy. Like politicians who people trust, it's such a privilege and honor
to be given that kind of trust with people's lives and the world at stake... Especially
now.
ANd remember, I'm not saying any of these things to hurt you. You say you are a willing
servant. Only you and God know if it's true. But it doesn't look like it. So if it
actually matters to you, you'd better get it straight with God.
As for the Love part of the psyop.. I'll simply say again that my exceitement was about
coming across someone who approached things more or less the way I did, and I saw a
perfect match for our individual skill sets... in delivering God's word. I should have
known it was a psyop but I wanted to believe a minister could be trusted. And Id on't care
about titles. When you go on tv talking about God as some pastor, you're presenting
yourself as a minister of God. And then the psychotronics and dews cam e on, and I knew
that to try to resist them would be worde than palyin git out in a respectful way. The
psychotronic interviews.. and I can't rove it but in my mind, given what was sked in
conjuction with your Aesopian, I know it was you.. you asked all the right questions and
seemed to undertstand the truth, so I decided you knew about the Kyra thing and I turned
it into an opportunity to document how they worked that psyop to create impressions of
what I'm like.. and given the kind of person you presented yourself as - pragmatic, fact
based, rational, sensitive and intelligent - I figured you could handle the psyop.
At the same time, I know the power of words and I know the power of music, and I was
concerned that, if she really knew all this truth about me, not the stuff intended to make
me look bad and hoorible, then she knows my true intents and knows I'm an adult in these
matters and so... I mentioned frequently about cleaning things up afterward, and I meant
it, because I had no way of knowing anything about your personal life, and Imy interest in
meeting you had nothing to do with wanting to disrupt your personal life, let alone what
you and your church do. Still, things happen, on the radio, people fell in love with me
just because of my voice and the music I played.. and I so respected you I wanted to be
sure you knew that despite the psyop and how it appeared, that I didn't wnat to cause a
situation where I caused feelings in you and left you hurt after the psyops were over. Let
alone, harm any relationships you might have that are important to you. You also said some
things about being attacked with dews and psychotronics, and I was very concerned about
your health and menta state, as well as whatever they would try to get you to feel,
particularly after I read something about you reducing your work load back in 2007 because
you were overworked. It's a typical symptom of DEWS, when they are in actual use.
And I have to admit, like I said about the "engrams" part of it.. you feel. I
felt it, deeply, as they intended, all the while knowing it was primarily psychotronics,
but these guys do their homework... they know what I like, what I've always looked for,
and they picked the perfect "doll" as LOu Dobbs Aesopianed me.. he said The
Barbie Doll was designed after a German sex toy... if you think they're laughing at me,
you'd better understand, these people don't care about anyone. They're laughing at you,
big time, you fell right into their trap.
But, eHarmony couldn't have done a better job of selecting you. Even the music part. At
least on the surface. I read one articles (I think I read 2 or 3 last night) and thought,
I actually understand where she's coming from, dealing with the things she's confronted
with, despite the fact that the reporters were trying to make it seemier than it was/is at
least in my mind. I wonder if you know the pysop wa so perfect, that there are even
parallels in my life and things I do an am interested in that are very much like your late
husband. In other words, even if we had met and worked together, there would have been
facts about me that probably would have caused you pain because it would seem eery that
his background and mine have certain similarities.. and who knows, maybe they would have
been things that would have been happily in common. But as dialectics go, it's like me
calling my cat Emma Lee.. aversions to things you love... psyops.
All I can say is that I hope none of that made you dfeel uncomfortable, and that you
believed what I explained that it was playing the psyop through. And, I hope you can find
it as amusing as I do, but if I had really been displaying all the stuff that goes through
my mind about relationships, and I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about talking and
sharing and all.. I'd still just be writing that as a book because they did their
homework.. and knew exactly what buttons to push.. and it's embarrassing to admit, but if
I hadn't known it was psychotronics, I would have truly felt madly in love with you. And
I'm embarrassed to admit that it felt good, cause I needed something that felt good at
that point in the pysops against me, so I used it to that extent, all the while trying not
to generate something that didn't really exist. And still, the music.. if they hadn't
zapped me when I was writing, about all sorts of things, I'd have written album after
album.. and I can't ignore that, myself,... more than anything ele, in all that, I wanted
to restate over and over agin, that depite how it might appear, that you knew the truth
about the psyops, and that even if you were doing what you were doing 100% willingly and
with knowledge, that I respected you and wasn't about to be party to objectifying you in
any way.
There really is something about you that frees my mind, it's free-association and, even if
you're just reading a script some psyop person gave you to read, there was a commonality.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want you to knwo, in the spirit of knowing the
difference between the sin and the sinner, is that despite the fact that I simply can't
get over that a minister of God would particpate in such things, that I don't hate you, I
actually wish you no ill will and wish non eof this had happened, because I have no
interest in seeing you prosecuted anymore than the idiots in government and the media..
but what happened happened, and I didn't do anything wrong.
What I'm left with, personally, is a great diappointment that I've once more been placed
in the position with being set up to look deviant against people who have perpetrated
truly diabolical plans and crimes against me. And my greater personal disappointment is
that I really thought if we ever did work together or even meet, in the community of God's
children, we could have been friends. So I just want you to notice I'm not trying to run
away from any of the things I felt or talked about, and I don't care anyomore how these
things can be manipulated or twisted to use against me.
Professionally, I'm disappointed that you particpated in these things, and I still
honestly believe you want to deliver the messages of God. Maybe I'm just a fool, and would
prefer to believe you have good intent in you despite all that's happened. ANd I just
can't get over my offense of what you've done in terms of the will of God. If there's
anything that struck me in what I read last night is that all I was going to ask of you is
to refer me to other ministers so they could question me and stuff, and then I'd let you
be the one to "find me" publicly, and I was gonna make you the biggest deal in
the world for being such a faithful servant. I thought the Kingdom of God was moments from
being delivered. And if you thought I was wrong and that I wasn't CHrist, I wanted to hear
that, to see the reasons why you believed that, because I truly never wanted to
misrepresent myself for all the reasons you could possibly imagine, particularly to not
cause God's plan to be messed up because some psyops guys got to me. I'm not saying that I
would have accepted your rejection of my realizations, because I have whole lifetime of
evidence of its truth. But even if I was wrong, you could have told me that, and I
respected you so much I wanted to hear your thoughts. I thought you understood the
situation. I thought you'd done the research. I thought you knew and believed. I thought
it was ironic last night in what I read, because I never heard of your late husband, I had
no idea of what was entailed in his testatorship, and and I really don't care. I'm not
impressed. Still, just in terms of equipment, you already had the equipment to tell the
world.. so God set you up and you chose to save yourself.
People often misteakenly judge my intentions because they know how they do things. I can
only assume your appraisal of my intentions were an appraisal of your own ways. I don't
know if that's true or not.
But these are the impressions I'm left with and I didn't want you to think, despite my
quite reasonable angers and frustrations... that even if I end up sending you to jailfor
life, that I'm sorry all this had to happen over me and other things, and that you got
sucked into it, and I hope that somehow you'll work it out with God. But I have to tell
you, in the spirit of the first come last and all.. you'v ehad so much time to do the
right thing as a citizen, let alone as a minister, that even if you came clean tomorrow
and became the key witness God set you up ot be to put an end to the suffering in the
world and deliver the Kingdom, I don't know that I could look you in the eye or want you
anywhere around. And it's not that I wouldn't want to forgive you, I'd just hate to be
constantly reminded of the pain you caused me, because I figure if you came forward now,
it would be just to save your own ass. And even if that accomplished God's tasks, I'd find
it hard to believe that you did it for good reasons, other than to serve yourself. I'm
interested in people who understand that serving God means putting it all on the line
because it's the right thing to do, not because you get something out of it.
Frankly, I'm gonna say some things.. and I'm not trying to seem hysterical or garner
sympathy, because if I ever met you and you tried to tell me of sympathy or empathy, I'd
resent it.
But my body is deterioratng rather quickly and I'm shoing the signs of damage caused by
microwave. I'm gonna do what I'm supposed to do to bring all this to the surface as I
guess was the point of my life... and it will likely have no effect because nobody's
really willing to hear or tell the truth. And frankly, I really am not interested i
showing up as a media star, a hero, martyr or anything... I don't think my body's gonna
last much longer from the attacks and from the stress, and I don't want to be some old man
in a pain ridden body that is left with the memories of all the ways people harmed me...
bottom line is just that I request that if yo do care about serving God, that you never
allow yourself to become a pawn in something like this again for any reason. Because there
are rippling effects, and even if it doesn't look like it because you haven't done the
research, they're doing a slow kill on me, and it's working. And all these delays by pawns
assist them in giving them more time to zap me into organ failure. SO, I surrendedr to
that, because Satanic Ritual Abuse leads to that. What can I do. My own government and
people like you are doing it, so there is no way for me to stop it. So I made the decision
and told God we can do the legal route that won't work, that will likely bring
Christianity closer to extinction, and then I wanna do it next life when I have a body
that will last long enough to get the job done.
Meanwhile, the other half of that.. I know for a fact tht they psyops guys wanted me to
write it, so like I always say, I follow the psyops to see where they lead, and these guys
have done zillions of things to make it always seem like all of this on my part was
nothing more than an obsessed distant perrvert or something... and I'm going to give them
the ammunition they want to claim such a thing... because they'll make fools of themselves
and you if they try it... see this part of the dialectic is to either make me out to be a
pervert, or, if they can't cover your tail like they promised, they'll just fully
discredit you to discredit me.
So here's the other part of the truth, and I wrote this in a song long ago, and it's true
about you, just as it's true of anyone I've ever loved, to whatever extent or for whatever
reason...
... whther I'm right, or whether I'm wrong, even if what I'm feeling now don't last too
long, well it really doesn't matter much at all, because there'll always be a special
place in my heart for you...
Having stated that, I figure the other part of the dialectic, the part of making someone
else upset and causing me to be homeless, is complete too. So, I'll end up in oblivion,
and you all will think you got away with it, and then you'll have to deal with AGod. I
hope you do, for your sake, I really do.
All that said, laugh all you want, amen and amen and all that stuff... I have big jug of
wine, and I always love to make more... I have to assume you don't believe I am who I am,
and I know for a fact that I am. I suppose all I can say is, next time around, there'll be
a huge amount of wine ready to pour... did I ever tell you about the time I almost went to
bartender school?
WIth my love for your spirit and intent, and my love for the future and a world that I
truly is possible,
Take care.. I'm not your enemy, I wish none of this had happened, and maybe, next time
around, maybe both or all of us will actually find what we were all actually looking for
in the first place... the things that got off track by the influences of the world. I just
know. And yet I don't, and guess I never will. I'm just sorry, regardless, if only by the
benefit I'd hoped to receive from your sermons and fellowship, that we had to come across
each other under other circumstances. And of course, when reading this, please don't read
anyhting into the words. They mean what they say. I am that literal. I may never know
anything about you, but I hope you end up learnign about me if only to provide you with
training not to believe in what those politicians tell you, and to cause you to live God's
plan for your life. I think He had something big in mind for you. But like lots of
servants, we all have choices... I hope your future choices bring you what you were
searching for in this crazy world.
-- Me
PSS.. sorry to have to include this note. After writing this, the psyops guys told me
part of this "exercise" for the was to get me to quote some Aesopian things to
get me to think about what proof I have. I don't know what proof I have. Like all the
others, I have enough. You really need to realize, these guys aren't going to cover you if
it means exposing themselves, look what they did to Arlen Specter. Made him promises and
then, when he committed and swtiched, they basically made him irrelevant. You they'll take
down in a flash, and no matter what they do, I end up looking like I actually am, the
victim of a bunch of crimes. Tell the people who got you into this you're onto how they
trapped you. And then realize that to save yourself, you have to expose yourself,
otherwise, they'll expose you the way they want to and then you're sunk and stuck. And
then you'llbe just like me and al the other victims, cause they'll zap you into oblivion
right after they embarass you in the face of the world, so no one will listen to you
either. And I'm just talking legalistics. And then, they'll just have their way with
ya. Maybe they already do.
I was thinking it'sd be great to stay true to form and throw in a tune that describes
my thoughts, but given the weirdness of it all, I can't think of one or even imagine there
could be one, and I'm not gonna write it.. so let's just let this suffice... C'est la Vie,
Finis. Somethin' about French...
Prince
- Still Waiting
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